Pains of Christmas
by Mainstream Soveriegn
Summary: The EEnE take of the popular radio parody of "12 Days of Christmas".


**Disclaimer: **The _Ed, Edd and Eddy _cartoon is the copyrighted property of a.k.a CARTOON Inc. The original _12 Pains of Christmas _song has no documented source of copyright. 

**_BIG NOTE: _**If you've never heard the original_ 12 Pains of Christmas _before, I strongly suggest you head over tolightoflove(dot)net(slash)12PainsOfCmas(dot)htm beforeyou read this fic. It's a guaranted belly-laugh. Even better, listen to the song WHILE you read this.

_Scene: A snowed-in suburban house with an overhang. Ed stands at the top of a chimney, Edd's slumped over on the bottom porch step, Edd's ant farm sits a the top step, Plank sits at a table under the overhang, Eddy stands on a ladder and is attempting to put up the lights. All other characters of the show stand at various spots in the snow._

**Ed: **Ooh! Me first! Me first! _::sings::_ The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me, is finding a Christmas tree! The second thing at Christmas, that's such a pain to me.....

**Eddy: **Rigging up the lights.

**Ed: **And finding a Christmas tree! The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me.....

**Edd: **_::cradling a beer mug:: _Hangovers....

**Eddy: **_::fustrated:: _Rigging up the lights.

**Ed: **And finding a Christmas tree! The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me.....

**Plank: **_::amidst a stack of paper:: _........ (Sending Christmas cards.)

**Edd: **_::rolling his eyes:: _Hangovers....

**Eddy: **_::even more fustrated:: _Rigging up the lights.

**Ed: **And finding a Christmas tree! The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me.....

**Edd's ants: **Five months of bills!

**Plank: **........ (Sending Christmas cards.)

**Edd: **_::falls backwards:: _Hangovers....

**Eddy: **_::through his teeth:: _Rigging up the lights.

**Ed: **And finding a Christmas tree! The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me.....

**Naz: **Facing my in-laws!

**Edd's ants: **Five months of bills!

**Plank: **........ (Oh, I hate those Christmas cards!)

**Edd: **Hangovers.....

**Eddy: **Rigging up these lights!

**Ed: **And finding a Christmas tree! The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me.....

**Kevin: **_::spots a Salvation Army Santa across the street:: _Salvation Army.

**Naz: **Facing my in-laws!

**Edd's ants: **Five months of bills!

**Plank: **........ (Sending Christmas cards!)

**Edd: **_::overturns his empty beer mug:: _ Oh geez.

**Eddy: **I'm tryin' to rig up these lights!

**Ed: **And finding a Christmas tree! The eighth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me.....

**Jimmy: **I wanna Transformer for Christmas!

**Kevin: **_::sneering:: _Charities, and what do you mean your in-laws? You don't have in-laws!!

**Naz :**_::shrugs nervously:: _

**Edd's ants: **Five months of bills!

**Plank: **........ (Ughh, makin' out these cards.)

**Edd: **_::to his ants:: _Uh, get me a beer, will ya?

**Eddy: **What, we have no extension cords?!

**Ed: **And finding a Christmas tree! The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me.....

**Rolf: **_::in his wagon in the street:: _Finding parking spaces.

**Jimmy: **Sara, I want some candy!

**Kevin: **Donations!

**Naz :**_::near tears:: _Facing my in-laws!

**Edd's ants: **Five months of bills!

**Plank: **........ (Writing out those Christmas cards.)

**Edd: **_::distressed about not getting another beer:: _Hangovers.

**Eddy: **NOW WHY THE HELL ARE THEY BLINKING?!

**Ed: **And finding a Christmas tree! The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me.....

**Sara: **_::turning over a Megatron transformer:: _Batteries not included?

**Rolf: **No parking spaces.

**Jimmy: **Buy me something!

**Kevin: **_::to the Santa:: _Get a job, you bum!

**Naz :**Facing the in-laws!

**Edd's ants: **Five months of bills!

**Plank: **........ (Yo ho! Sending Christmas cards.)

**Edd: **_::spots a growing wet spot in his pants:: _Aw geez, look at this.

**Eddy: **....ONE LIGHT GOES OUT, THEY ALL GO OUT!!

**Ed: **And finding a Christmas tree! The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me.....

**Jonny: **_::holding a portable T.V.:: _Stale T.V. specials.

**Sara: **Batteries not included?! _::throws the Megatron toy::_

**Rolf: **No parking spaces.

**Jimmy: **Sara, I gotta go to bathroom!

**Kevin: **_::sneering:: _Charities!

**Naz :**She's a witch, I hate her!

**Edd's ants: **Five months of bills!

**Plank: **........ (Oh, I don't even know half these people!)

**Edd: **_::slowly getting to his feet:: _Ah, who's got the toliet paper?

**Eddy: **GET A FLASHLIGHT, I BLEW A FUSE!!

**Ed: **And finding a Christmas tree! The twelfth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me.....

**Kankers: **Singing Christmas carols.

**Jonny: **Stale T.V. specials.

**Sara: **Batteries not included.

**Rolf: **No parking!

**Jimmy: **WAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

**Kevin: **Charities.

**Naz :**Gotta make 'em dinner!

**Edd's ants: **Five months of bills!

**Plank: **........ (I'm not sending 'em this year, that's it!) _::papers fly everywhere::_

**Edd: **_::turns his head towards Plank and Eddy:: _.........Shut up, you!

**Eddy: **FINE! YOU'RE SO SMART, **YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!  
**_::pulls all the lights down, but loosens the snow on the roof. Cue the avalanche::_

**Ed: **And finding a Christmas treeeeeeeee!!

Reviews, please!


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